How to create intimacy?

Intimacy is the experience of another person fully recognizing and loving you for who you are, as well as despite it. This necessitates a leap into uncommon honesty and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. The greater depth the intimacy, the more you'll feel total absorption with your partner, both in and out of bed. For some, intimacy is the feeling of being "at home" in the presence of their partner. When you see your loved one's face after a long absence, you may feel a surge of relaxed pleasure.

To feel more connected, reveal more. However, without continued attentiveness, it is easy to lose the desire to learn everything there is to know about one another over time. Individuals dubbed openers by psychologists engage in intimate conversations with others because something about them encourages disclosure. High self-monitors have a harder time with close relationships because they don't open up or make it easy for others to do so.

Make time for difficult conversations. These are the times when people feel the closest to one another. It feels very intimate when we share our thoughts at the end of the day, when we're fortunate enough to be able to do so.

Enjoy the routine. When we're unfamiliar with one another, everything we learn is unexpected, resulting in extreme emotion. We gradually become more predictable to one another over time. But, as Sternberg discovered, predictability can lead to intimacy, in which "the partners are so connected with each other that the one doesn't recognize the other is there, just as the air we breathe can be taken for granted, despite its necessity to life."

Think about whether you're a better match than you think. People differ in how much intimacy they need to avoid loneliness and how much they can endure before becoming overstimulated. Those with higher needs will work harder to maintain intimate contact with their partners, paying closer attention and encouraging their partners to be more expressive. If the need is weaker, the correlation between intimacy and relationship satisfaction will be weaker. In other words, if you don't crave the level of total closeness I'm referring to, you probably won't mind if your partner isn't interested in sharing his or her own inner life.